1. |
Packaging
03:26
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Everything comes to us in
Packaging - cardboard tape and bubble wrap
Everything ships this way and it's
Maddening just to try and get it all out
Everything comes to us in
Packaging - plastic bags and shrink wrap and
Everything ships this way and it's
Maddening just to try and get it all out
I just got an online order in the mail
I fought the box for five minutes to no avail
Well I tried some scissors but they don't seem to work
Whoever wrap this box must be the biggest jerk
Open the box and what do I see
Twelve layers of cardboard waiting for me
But you can't defeat this southpaw
I'll be right back, I'm gonna get my chainsaw
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2. |
Victory Is Ours
05:20
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Good evening, pitiful humans
Allow me to introduce myself
I am your impending doom
And your brain will improve my health
I know I'm hard to understand
Just know your death is close at hand
Victory is ours
Stop screaming, pitiful humans
And don't try to run away, either
You can't resist our forces
And your brain will be eaten soon
I can't believe it's come to this again
supposed apocalypse
We just went through this mess last year
and we'll fight through this once more
We've won before, we'll win again
We've got the guns and army men
I will eat your brain right now
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3. |
Everything's Ruined
02:07
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Everything's ruined (everything's ruined)
Everything's ruined (everything's ruined)
Everything's ruined (everything's ruined)
And I'm bad at this (you suck)
Mix the ingredients
Preheat the oven and
Throw the stuff in when it's time
But what transpired was
Not what I desired
I'm left with one bowl of slime
I thought that I could get this to mix
I must have skipped a step or two or six
I'm making brownies and
This time I found me a
Recipe without the stress
Disaster shows up and
My timer froze up and
I got a burnt brownie mess
I thought that I could cook stuff by now
But if this keeps up I'll never know how
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4. |
||||
I hate it
I hate this song
And we play it all the time
If I hear it once more I'm gonna
Lose it
Lose my mind
Smash this computer
It's true we used to be number one
That's not the case anymore
We were bought out in the mid-nineties
We've been corporate ever since
Now it's just the same old garbage
Day in and day out
If this is what we're reduced to
Then I want out
Why don't you just
Stick to music? I am - that's why I'm angry
Why don't you just
Play all the hits? I have been and I'm bored with it
Why don't you just
Shut my mouth? Well on the radio, the answer's no
Why don't you just
That's it
This is the last straw I've had it with this
I quit
I'm done with the station that no longer cares
Dead air
Dead air and Thin Lizzy right after this
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5. |
It's Bob!
01:03
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It's Bob! It's Bob!
The superhero with a full-time job
He'll stop those evil crooks from fleeing
After he gets out of his weekly meeting
It's Bob! Yes, it's Bob!
The superhero with a full-time job
A financial advisor for a local law firm
Who makes all the supervillains squirm
As long as the office is closed
Reading memos, solving crimes
Checks his email all the time
Bad guys never catch a break
When Bob's out on his lunch break
The superhero with a full-time job
It's Bob!
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6. |
Brains
04:14
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We shuffle on
We take them down
And eat their brains
We consume them
And we doom them
We want their brains
What are we fighting for
We fight so we eat more
Ignore apocalyptic chatter from the humans
We will not end this war
What do we want? (Brains!)
What do we need? (Brains!)
When do we eat? (Now!)
Let's go!
This is our time to rise
We'll strike fear in their eyes
Ignore apocalyptic chatter from the humans
That's just a pack of lies
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7. |
Barkeep! Another Round!
05:04
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Before we begin I'd like to discuss
some unfinished business with you
Last Thursday night you stole all my beer
and then disappeared - a rude thing to do
What I want to know is how you did that
I do tip my hat that's for sure
I'll let it slide if you promise me
that I'll never see you do it no more
We recklessly take part
in a total eclipse of the heart
I think I'll have another drink
before our friends depart
A week ago we had a bash
and it was a smashing good time
When you came in we had a drink
I didn't think we'd commit a crime
Now I'm not one to cause a scene
or be real mean to my friends
But then you went and kicked my ass
and I said that's where our friendship ends
Now I think I'm a normal guy
I never try to be cool
But the line is drawn so super thick
after you kick my ass at pool
And when you sank the eight ball in
I'd never been so perplexed
I guess that I... I started a brawl
I can't recall what happened next
I'm told the fight didn't last too long
I'm not as strong as that
I guess you took my butt to town
and I was down in seconds flat
When I came to, I couldn't think
but there was a drink in my hand
We had a toast, my beer was gone
and you moved on to your homeland
And now that we all have cleared all the air
I lost fair and square I guess
If I didn't try to kick in your shin
I wouldn't be in this much of a mess
I guess I need to apologize
'cause I can't disguise my shame
So let's have a toast to friends that will stay
then maybe we'll play another pool game
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8. |
(I Command You To) Dance
03:48
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A long time ago I gave you some commandments
(that's how to live)
Well now I have a new one I need to give you
(need to give you)
What I need you to do is get on the dance floor
So arise from your seat now - what else are feet for
I command you to dance
I demand that you dance
I know full well I can't convince you on my own
(not on my own)
So I enlisted a robot friend to help me
(friend to help me)
Tell 'em, robot!
What we need you to do is get on the dance floor
So stand up and get dancing - what else are feet for
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9. |
Smell You Later
02:32
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You're kinda gross and smelly
Got a ton of drool
You run around like crazy and
The cat never liked you
But I did
Yeah I did
Do you remember the time
When you pooped on the floor
It never dawned on me then that
I could take anymore
But I did
Yeah I did
You didn't live here for long
Just long enough for a song
I met your new mom and dad
They both know you won't be bad
Smell you later, my little friend
I bet I will see you again
Smell you later, you were the best
Hope you like your new home out west
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10. |
This One Has Wheels
03:36
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Well I went into work one day
My first day on the job
I had my laptop in my arms
Inside a flimsy case
Well I don't know why it was there
The great thingamabob
But somebody gave it to me
My laptop’s brand new space
I don't mean to be too brief but
It's the best thing around
And I won't blame you if
You fall head over heels
It's always on the case and
Always stays aground
All briefcases seem the same
But this one… This one has wheels!
Well I was told when I got my case
That it only cost a cent
And how could I refuse such a gift
At no cost to the school
And when I got a barrage of paper
Into the case it went
And I don't care if it looks too dumb
I'm already not cool
Are you ready, briefcase? Start rollin'!
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11. |
Commerce
03:34
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Get that money
Get that cash
Get that item
Get that thing
Spend that money
Spend that cash
Buy that item
Buy that thing
Buy that money
Spend that cash
Get that item
Get that thing
Get that money
Get that cash
Get that item
Get that thing
Spend that money
Spend that cash
Get that thing
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12. |
Benediction
06:32
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instrumental
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Distinct Kicking Motion Rochester, New York
A one-man band living on the corner of pop-punk and prog-metal.
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